all american boy

his jean jacket hugs his shoulders

as he touches the brim of his red ball cap

in the only goodbye i’ll ever get from him

and he shoots me one last smirking grin

his rover keys swinging around his index finger

always an adrenaline junkie living off of caffeine

and petal-to-the-metal surges of feelings

that in the end

i never could give him

there was no suddenness to our end:

no avalanche of heated arguments

or a sudden loss of feelings in a terrifying drop

no

we ended so slowly that

i sometimes catch myself thinking

that i spent over two lifetimes with you

but in neither did you ever love me