i can’t just pick and chose when to be her friend

i can’t just pick and chose parts of her to love

and i can’t just blame her for me not being ok

i just don’t get it. i don’t get how we can still make each other happy when we are the way we are. i don’t understand how we can laugh and laugh until our sides ache but then i find myself falling apart. how you find yourself falling apart. i don’t understand that when i’m curled up crying i don’t text you. i don’t call you. because i’ve come to understand that you won’t answer. you don’t need to answer. you say that your phone died or that you asleep. i day it’s ok. and i sound mistrustful but that is because my trust has been shattered so many times that it’s barely there. and i sound clingy but when i feel jagged edges of all my insecurities breaking through my skin, i want you. and if i hadn’t convinced myself years ago that i didn’t need anyone but myself, i would say that i need you. i know you are tired of me hot and cold. i know you are tired of how I’m just not the same girl you met in that french class with your green dress and jacket. and you know what? i’m tired too. i’m tired of the nights i spend without sleep and the days i spend building people up while i’m breaking. on Monday things will be normal again. we will ignore the message i sent and we will ignore the underlying truth that you are leaving me. and i am leaving you. and it scares me so so much to think that out of all the people i have met, i think you could be the one i need. but we both know you don’t need me. we don’t have long conversations anymore. you’re too busy. we don’t sent pictures with funny captions or attempt to plan anymore. i think deep deep inside we both know that our friendship has become a habit and we just don’t care enough to break it. you didn’t steal my skittles anymore, that’s not how the story goes. i gave you a piece of my heart willingly, but now i want it back. we both know i’m selfish.

red riding hood’s warning

dearest girl don’t trust

boys with sharp eyes masked with slewed questions of mock stupidity

who smile with teeth so bright they mask the fangs

peeking above the horizon of their lips in a faux snarl

and say your name like it is a casual thing to come and go

just one of million to rumble up from their cavernous chests

where their heart is expected to rest

but these kinds of boys have long since turned heartless

an immortal evolutionary adaption Darwin himself could not find the answer to

because these boys are turned more wolf than man

but hide it with the sly superiority of alpha confidence

and let it peek through with the animalistic gleam in their eyes

when full white smiles like that of the full moon

are present on the faces of the girls whose names are spoken

with the casual authority of these boys with fangs tucked neatly

inside the flesh of their lips

and dearest I warn you to never trust boys with honeyed words

that are shadowed with the ashy residue of anger

and the sly smirk of known wittiness

for they are armed with fangs and claws

just waiting to devour you

beautiful boy

i think somewhere past the atmosphere

a space boy loved his little space sister

and so he taught her how to ride shooting stars

while catching moonbeams off of comet trails

and he loved her so much that when the choice came

to save her from reality but forget

or them shatter into supernovas together

by growing up

he tried to chose the best one

but his choice was faulty because

she would have shattered a thousand times for him

while he would infinitely decide to grow up for her

irony is that they both shattered anyways